To find success at dating, on the Internet or anywhere else, we must possess an almost foolish willingness to fail.
And a couple of months and a few hundred ignored messages later you’re all but ready to give up. Online dating isn’t really harder or easier than “real life” dating; it’s just different.Like any other form of social interaction it just takes time, practice and the right information to perfect it.To be fair, I’ve also learned this by being a black woman.In an effort to preserve sanity, I discovered very early that what is good and beautiful about me doesn’t require external validation.My eye color isn’t interesting, and my hair is always feral.
I’m not ugly, but I don’t have much beauty privilege (and make no mistake, beauty privilege yields tangible rewards). “I don’t have to.” [Go ahead, ladies, make the first move.
In case you were wondering, being unapologetically “ordinary” has implications beyond online dating.
It’s essentially the reason Google started hiring outside of the Ivy League: People who weren’t bred to think they can’t be wrong have an easier time failing with dignity and poise.
I worry less about pretense or maintaining some mystique, and if a suitor doesn’t get me, I can chalk it up to math.
The odds might be against me, but that doesn’t mean I don’t deserve to play the game.
If someone doesn’t “match” with me (online or in real life), it doesn’t mean I’m less valuable.