Jokes on internet dating

" Sexual Exhaustion A teacher was wrapping up class, and started talking about tomorrow's final exam. You can earn 0 for a blow job there, and I figured that I might as well earn money for what I do to you free." The husband thinks for a moment, goes upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well. A: "Reader's Digest." Q: What do you call 300 white men chasing a black man? Q: How many Emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Q: How man Sorority girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? " Q: What does a gangbanger have in common with a soda machine? He said there would be no excuses for not showing up tomorrow, barring a dire medical condition or an immediate family member's death. A: Two, One to screw it in, and one to take a picture. A: They both don't work and always take your money. A: One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit. Q: What do you call an afghan virgin A: Mever bin laid on Q: Why is santa so jolly? Q: Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning? A: The grass tickles their balls Q: What do you get when you cross A-Rod with Chris Brown? Q: What is pink, goes in hard and dry and comes out soft and wet? Q: What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts that a 25 year old doesn't? Q: What does a good bar and a good woman have in common? Q: What is the difference between erotic and kinky? Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? A: By the time you're finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in. A: Because everybody who can run, jump and swim are already in the U. Q: What do you get when you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic?

jokes on internet dating-56

Q: What do you get when you mix puppies and rabbits? Q: What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? A1: Kinky is when you tickle your girl friends ass with a feather. Q: What's the difference between a penis and a bonus? A recent survey shows that sperm banks beat blood banks in contributions... If you force sex on a prostitute, is it rape or shoplifting? Q: What did the hard boiled egg say to the boiling water? How many guys can participate in a gang bang before it's gay?

Q: What does a rubix cube and a Penis have in common? A: Acne usually comes on a boys face after he turns 12 Q: Whats the Diffenence between kinky and perverted? A: Papa Boner Q: What do you get when you cross a potato and corn? It would be a lot easier to be a hard worker if my company didn't block access to porn sites on the internet.

A teacher asks her class, "What do you want to be when you grow up? Wife: Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks.

" Little Johnny says "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day". Susie says "I wanna be Johnny's bitch."So Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt. Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way? An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. "Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?

"Well come with me out to my dads car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married? ” “Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.”A male driver is pulled over by a cop and the following conversation takes place: Man: What's the problem officer? "Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. " shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child? This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE! A teacher was working with a group of children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory perception.

When they get to the car she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear. He bet me 0 this morning that he'd see your pussy before the end of the day! " "Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone." "No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, “You know, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing." The doctor was shocked! " The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get the jar open."Boy: "I got an F in arithmetic." Father: "Why? She brought in a variety of lifesavers and said, "Children, I'd like you to close your eyes and taste these." The kids easily identified the taste of cherries, lemons and mint, but when the teacher gave them honey-flavored lifesavers, all of the kids were stumped. "It's something your mommy probably calls your daddy all the time." Instantly, Little Johnny coughed his onto the floor and shouted, "Quick!

Q: Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex? Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife? Q: Why was the African American girl quiet during the movie?

Q: What do 9 out of 10 people consider to be a good time? Q: What do you call a school bus full of white people?

" Flaslight A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. A: Oral sex makes your day and Anal sex makes your whole weak.

After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight! The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes! Q: Whats the best thing about a 18 year old girl in the shower? Q: What's strong enough for a man but made for a woman? Q: What do you call a bookworm who gets eaten by a cannibal?

Q: How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Q: What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off?