There always ends up being one guy out of the 2 or 3 I'm seeing that I like most and the others are just kind of stand-ins for when that one guy is on a date with some other woman or otherwise busy. and while I've learned to put the brakes on feelings that start careening out of control before it's warranted as I've gotten older, I still feel it.And wow, knowing that a guy I'm dating is out with some other woman, whom he must like enough to want to spend that time with her rather than me, stings so bad I can barely handle it. I try to adhere to the don't-ask-don't-tell policy, but I find myself always trying to keep conversations vague with men I'm dating so as to not inadvertently stumble onto the knowledge that they, say, spent the entirety of last weekend with some Malibu Barbie.Brother-in-law (BIL) feels that, as my sister's husband, it is "disrespectful" for us to invite A.
Instead, concentrate on your life, your interests, your friendships, your goals.It'll not only strengthen who you are and so, by extension, your faith in your own judgment, but it will also put you in natural proximity with people who share your interests. My fiance, S, and I are getting married in September.Or be forced to tell them that I wasn't around Saturday because I was out with another man. This is a double-edged sword -- I feel like I'm closing myself off and have my guard up so high that no man can get to know me, yet I'm so insecure about how I measure up to these other faceless women, that I almost don't want to talk about a guy's day/week/life.Instincts say, "ok, well don't date anyone that makes you feel this way" but, it's bound to keep happening, right?Do you eventually lose your feelings for them, to the point where you wonder what you ever saw in them?
Do you still harbor feelings for them, even when something else forces you apart--say, his ultimate choice to commit to someone else? What I'm driving at here is, how well can you trust your feelings for these guys you come to prefer?Also, I'm annoyed that my parents will have to explain to their friends why BIL is not at the wedding.Also, if I'm honest with myself, I'm also annoyed that S and I are paying for this wedding ourselves so that everyone can have a great time -- and, BIL's solution is to have, at least a part of the wedding be, "why isn't BIL here? " Also, my parents will probably pressure me to disinvite A. I really don't want to cater to this close-to-40 y.o. Carolyn Hax: Easy solution: Invite A as planned, and let BIL carry on with his plan to make a complete ass of himself.In fact, I'd take it another step, and suggest that, while the dating around idea might seem to be the right accommodation to your tendency to rush, you in fact need to accommodate even further and stop dating.Maybe not altogether forever after, but stop seeing it as a means to find a mate.So last night we sold our broke down truck to Carmax.... No more oil changes, gas, car insurance, registration, etc.